Category: Dating and Relationships
Hello all,
I have a lovely boyfriend. We do alot and share alot, and he's one I can trust. For about 2 months now, I've been trying to keep our relationship secret from my parents. One day, I called him and my sister was in the room evesdropping. She heard that I had a boyfriend, and mentioned it to my dad. He questioned me later. I was totally humiliated and didn't know what to do. Has this ever happened to any zoners out there? Have you ever had to hide the fact that you're in love?
Thanks.
Katie
jesus christ...are you really that pathetic..? I mean...yeah, if you've got a boyfriend, why would you be afraid to tell your parents. What a sad miserable fuck you must be. and more importantly. Wow...how'd you trick the guy...
I agree with garret. I mean, I have had a few bf's, but I have told my parents. It is not a crime to tell ur parents. They want to know these things.
dl87, does he not have a sence of smell? or do you actually shower more than once every 10 years now. is he like 64 years old, got 20 kids, ex convict, lives in a trailer with no running water, etc etc? because if any of these circumstances are true, I don't blame you for keeping it a secret. rofl
You should never live a relationship in a lie. That's just wrong, because your not being honest with the guy, nor yourself. Why didn't you want to say anything? Are yo some religious person who can't go out with someone? I know people like that, but at a certain age, you can't control it, and your family would have to be aware of that. Always remember, lying is not healthy, and the more you lie, the more our putting yourself under stress. This is just some advice, bt this comes to show you that you should be fucking honest with your parents.
lmfao cam! totally agreed
lol agreed with cam, but on the other hand, if i had a boyfriend, i couldn't tell my parents because their really strict. unless we were at the point where it's serious, then i would but my dad and stepmom are one of those really focus on school and nothing else/religious/if i find out u have a boyfriend your dead type of parents. like they won't even let me hang out with a guy friend unless there's a girl with me, and even then they'll call me every 5 minutes to see where i am and stuff..no, couldn't tell them. like they act like this knowing i'm moving out in less then a year, and they know that then they won't be able to really be down my throat as much, hopefully. but yeah.
Janelle...you're 17, this thing that doesn't shower, doesn't brush teeth, and posts wa'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a''a'aa''aa'a'aay too much is 21. forgive the observation, but yeah
lol, agreed with janelle. My mom is wicked strict about me not having a boyfriend. She's always like, focux on your school work, nothing else. So, if i have a boyfriend, i would have to hide it from her. even though, I know its going to come out in the end. but still. i dont like lying to my mom either, so i guess that counts. haha
I met this boy online. He's in another state. My dad doesn't like me having online friends that much, let alone dating online. If he found out, he'd be mad.
roflmao Garret and Cam! agree with you both. Minh, like Garret said to Janelle, your under 18, this one is 21 years old. their's a difference. not that your parents are completely right, but, that's how they want to raze you, for now, and i can understand that. they are, after all, your parents. however, if your over 18 and you can't even tell your parents you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then that, is perthetic!
hahahahahahahahahaahhahaha no wonder the guy is online. well? why should your parents care, it's not like he's going to want to fuck you once he sees you, right?
But thats how my parents are. When I had a boyfriend a year ago, I could only go to his house if my parents were there with me.
roflmao Garret. get outta my head, please? you just said what i thought, but you forgot, that he won't want to fuck her cause he won't be able to stand her smell, if they ever did meet.
it was implied...
dl87 in all seriousness...you're 21! grow a fucking pair under all the folds of fat and stench!
a pair of what? balls? lmfao! she probablly has flaps of smelly skin that serve as balls. she needs to shower and keep herself clean, cause i can smell her from here. *vomits* you won't keep your boyfriend when he smells your stench, sunshine.
lmao liz
well, I think don't shower 87's dad will get a call tomorrow, informing him about her misgivings online with this 64 ex con current crack head of hers. won't he be surprised? lmfao. then maybe her punishment will be to take a shower and brush her teeth. almost makes me wanna call the A S P C A, and tell them there will be some homeless head lice, scabies, houseflies, crabs, and a few other things. cuz after all, they need homes too ya know? they'll be evicted after her punishment!
64 year old, that should be.
God, you guys, is there really any need at all to be so ridiculously cruel? Who's pathetic again?
DL87, I can say that yes, I have been where you are. My parents aren't really super strict or religious or anything, but they're not at all in favor of the online world and they also operate under the 'as long as you're under my roof, you go by my rules' thing. Meaning that if I told them, I wouldn't be able to bring the guy here anyway and I'd always have to go out to see him. Not that that's a problem, but then I'd just come back to crazy tension and anger, and I come from a pretty close-knit family (at least on my mom's side), so yeah. It would be bad all 'round. But there does come a point when you have to get over your parents' feelings and opinions and make yourself happy. If you get serious enough with the guy that you're considering meeting each other, you should tell them. As has been pointed out several times, you're old enough to make your own decisions and live your own life, and if your parents are decent parents and love and care about you and all that, they'll ultimately want you to be happy, so don't be so afraid of them.
Wow, you guys are mean, I mean mean, and as in you guys are some mean mother...
I have a question though, why did your sister tell on you, how old is she?
And if you are over 21, and not from a very religious background, wouldn’t it be better to not keep things from your parents? The more you keep from them, the less they will know about you, and the less they know about you, the less they will know who you really are.
Of course, one could always argue that parents don’t need to know who you really are, but still, if you are living at home, it’s good to set up some boundaries between you and them, or you will have some very bad conflicts.
I completely mirror what chelsea says here. I just hope some of you will grow up and learn to respect others at some point in your life. Because you really are just sad and pathetic. Katie, like chelsea has said, there is going to come a point where you are going to have to stand up for yourself with your parents. But I personally know where you are coming from. Well kind of. And just because someone doesn't want to tell their parents right away, doesn't mean that they are embarrassed or anything like that. And it isn't even lying if you are just not telling them yet. There is a time and a place to tell friends, family and all about someone new in your life. You have to make the decision as to when it is.
wow, what killjoys...
lmfaolmfao cam!
Well my sister made the dicision for me.
roflmao you guys
can you believe the killjoys on this board? lol
Is this the BF who forgets who you are if you don't ring him for more than three days, or another one?
lmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmao! Cam and Garret. DL87, your sister decided for you? wow, are you that incompitent that your sister makes your decitions for you? hell, my sister knows better than to decide anything for me, so does every other member of my family. no-one tells me how to run my life, and they'd never even try. god girl, grow a pair!
rofl liz. Couldn't have said it any better myself.
oy gotta love those kiljoys, eh garret? good thing that my family has not been in control of my life for the last 10 years, and I'd never have it any other way!
cheers, cam
I agree with Pipi, leave her alone. We get it, you guys don't like her. Does it make the two of you feel good to pick on someone like that? Oh wait, silly question. I think it's just plaine cruel. Nothing personal guys, just an opinion.
omgomgomg, totally agreed with Pipi, Chelsea, and Andrea! I mean, you all are some mean mother fuckers, dragging in her bathing problems has nothing to do with this board post! I mean, isn't this why we post boards, to help one another? I'm starting to think this is just one of those, "Make fun of those "special" zoners just cause we can, sort of thing! Nothing personal, but maybe you all should assess your character before you bash another's!
Anyway, Dl87, i totally know what it's like to not be able to tell your paretns things! It's hard to communicate with them, I know! I mean, my parents would have killed me if they knew I ever dated someone who was blind and white! I feel like they don't understand where i'm coming from, but like the others say, if it gets serious, sure, don't be afraid to share it! And now your parents know, well, all you can do is just grin and bare it! So what if you have a boy friend! you're old enough, and they can't always live your life for you! They have to realize that you're growing up! And your sister, well, it was none of her business, and i totally know what it's like when you want to keep things to yourself, and one of your lovely siblings snitch on you! What's done is done, and someday, you're gonna have to stand up for what you believe in! Start making your own choices, you're not a kid anymore! take control of your life, and best of luck to you!
Well said, Kia.
He's the same one with memory problems, but I have learned to accept it. He's special, and accepts me for who I am no matter what. I can't have it any other way!
you are a flirt wink wink
So what is the latest on this situation? Has your relationship advanced enough for you to live together so your parents are no longer a problem? If not will it? Have your parents imposed any restrictions on you because of your relationship with your boyfriend?
omg wow you guys. lol I only have one word that describes pretty mutch this whole thing. "special." lmfaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmao!
agree with Chelsea, Pipi and Andrea, and was there anyone else? it's so sad that the zone is becoming such a miserable disrespectful place.
Ignore them, but only trouble is, as shea said in another post, they'll move on to someone else!
at least being "killjoys" or whatever you call us wins all the way in the end!
bottom line is DL87, you are old enough to make your own decisions and to make your own choices about your online behaviour; and the trick is to let your parents see that this is the case.
Agreed with Rachel, Pipikins, Chelsea, and the Andrea.
yeah Ray, "special" does describe this, right? lmaoooooo!
Katie, your 21, you need to start living your life!! start making your own choices. Your old enough to vote, drink and etc, so christ have a boyfriend and be proud. You just have to start taking control of your life!!
I did some explaining to my parents about my boyfriend, and they didn't seem to mind after all.
so, your theory of them caring was all just a thought? well, they know what happens when your boyfriend has to smell you. Oh god...what if he had to go down on you? I'll steal a george carlin line...
"god help him, I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick!"
roflmao!
okay! for once she asked a question seeking advice, and so you all have to bring up all the other crap and make fun of her?? Fuck remind me to Never ask for any help here. fucking grow up!!!
okay, we will.
you'll grow up? that'd be the dya, but hey, if you're going to give it a go, good. Lol
i am grown up. i'm just being myself and giving my appinion, and if you don't like it, don't read it. i don't come on here to please everyone, and i certainly don't come on here to be a fun recker either. besides, my last post wasn't directed at you.
Brian, you and i both kno that posting something on the boards isn't always going to be sivel, and will bring up unwanted shit. it's not always fare, but it happens. she's fucking 21 years old for christe's sake! and, she just turned around and said that her parents didn't seem to mind about her boyfriend, or something along thoes lines.
damn, start to live your own life and not what your parents want you to be, its just you and you don't have to care about them anymore, you are 21, you should be mature enough to know.
I agree with Cara.
My mom is ok with me and my boyfriend going out. My dad, on the other hand, acted ok, but the other day, he told me that online dating was weird and I shouldn't do it. I don't care, but what if things get bad enough that he will take my computer away or something. If I can't spend time and have a relationship with my boyfriend, then I'll never have another relationship again!
that's not a good plan, Katie. if all fails with this relationship, you'll just give up completely on relationships as a whole? well, your choice obviously, but there's no need to be so negative about it.
I tell ya, with 21 you are old enough to make your own decisions and he can't take your computer away because he can't tell you what to do anymore because you are over 18 allready.
exactly sharpay! anyway if he does, get the guys address, send him written mail! come on!
how fucking pathetic. just pathetic. What if they ground me! I'm an adult! what if they take my computer away! you can not ground an adult. and if he takes your computer away, he's on a serious power trip. Pathetic I tell ya!
Cam
Totally agree with Cam, how could he take your computer away? And don't be so dependent on one person. Online relationships are nothing like the real thing anyway, so I hope you're not investing too much into it if you've never met him!
i agree with Cam to. wtf! come on girl! grow a brain, have you never herd of a phone, or writing a letter? also, why the hell would your dad take your computer away, if the computer is your own personal computer anyway? hell, if my dad even tryed to take mine, their'd be hell to pay. this is just an excuse, and like Cam said, perthetic! your an adult, start acting like one, and for christe's sake! control your own life!
couldn't have put it better myself, Liz.
well, I see it like this, your parents don't need to know everything about u and what u do, it's none of their business, unless your a minor. Once your eighteen u don;t have to answser to noone. If u want to be discrete, get yor own sellphone, and pay yor own bill, u can make calls to whom ever u want to,and your parent won't constently ask u who's numbers r on the phone bill.
oh for goodness sakes people, grow up.
can't you see that Katy is obviously pretty sheltered, and hasn't had the life experience like you or I?
if you have some advice to offer her, do it in a non-attacking way.
as usual, support, or lack of, from the few of you, is totally and utterly unbelievable.
I sware u people that consider yourselves mature saying nothing but crule things about Download, hello this is suppose to be a board for advise, if u want to talk shit about someone take it else whare or just keep it to yourself if u have nothing better to say, come on, now for once could more of u cut the crulty and give some genuine advise for r friend here
as for u my friend DL, your 21, yes u live with your parents but like but a previous zoner said, make boundries to an extent. u don't need to lie to them but u don't have to tell them verything either, be truthful enough so that they trust and have no reason not to trust u.
I know what it is like to live in a home wear I couldn't even wipe my own ass without asking permition or having to tell someone about it. My family was verry controling over me and not just my aunt and uncle that I lived with but all my cousins as well, they were from the ages of six to thirty five. I couldn't ell my younger cousin to get out of my room or stay out of my stuff or what ever with out getting bitched at or or reminded that they were higher in the family love chain then me. Sometimes blind kids that are still liveing with their parents are treted like eleven year olds no matter how old they are and if they try to stand up and tell their parents that they are over eighteen adn they have rights, then they have hell to pay. Those parents will still take things away and try to punish. And standing up for yourself doesn't always help because you depend on them to ser vive. Its not always easy to live on your own. Sometime you need people to help you do stuff, and sometimes those people are your family. Money transportation, independance could all have a part to why its better to dill with the hell then trying to live off of nothing. Give DL87 a brake Last I read, this was a board about why or weather you tell your families about your boyfriends. Not a bitch and herrass DL987 just because someone got ishues about her!
O yeh, my oparents do treat me like a kid, and I've told them time and time again, that I'm grown. That doesn't help much. Yes, my dad can take the computer away, and or the phone. That's right, If I can't be with the love of my life, I will definitely give up relationships as a whole.
All right, I see it like this: Katie, I don't know you or the extent of your shelteredness, so it is not my place to make such harsh judgments about you or how you're dealing with your parents. And I think others would do well to remember that 99 percent of the active users on here are blind and have probably been sheltered or judged at one time. But all you have to do is stand up for yourself. You're an adult, so you have rights. Your parents can't tell you who and who not to see, whether you're living with them or not. And if you love this guy, you shouldn't let anything come between you and him. I know that it's hard living with and, to an extent, depending on people who try to control your life, but you just have to stand up for your rights wherever you can, and I'd also be looking hardcore into getting out on your own and established. I'm going through the same thing with my parents (only without the boyfriend problem), and I'm fighting like hell to better my situation. And believe me, you don't want anything of yours in their name. You want your own cell phone, your own bank account, and everything else. That's less they can hold over your head. And to the shit-talkers, Katie came out here for advice, so what gives you the right to attack her, mentioning no names, Liz. Stop being such an arrogant and judgmental bitch. Katie, I hope everything works out, but that will depend largely on you. If you need any more advice, feel free to send me a message.
Becky
ah what immaturity. Katie yes, you are an adult, but you also have to realize that people do have parents who are strict, like .. well not mentioning my life, lol but sometimes you have to live under the rul of this is my house and what you do is either live by them or move, Hugs hope things are all right and stop fucking bashing! Damn! There are situations that you can't really help less you live on your own, and if you live wih thtme and youare over 18, then just fucking deal with it if you have to. God! if you ahve the means to get an apartment of your own that's great, but if you live with them, and have to have respect.. it sucks, but that's how life is, and life sucks
well said becky (inu princess); agreed 100%!
In theory I agree that Katie should stand up to her parents, that she shouldn't let them ground her, take her computer, run her relationships, etc.
However as easy as it is to do that in theory, it can be a lot more difficult in practice. Some oppressive parents are very forceful, and during the lives of their children, they have done everything they can to ensure that their children don't have the confidence to challenge or resist them. The children grow up in fear, and they fear the consequences of defending themselves.
They are also so isolated that were they to resist, they would be alone and have no significant support. People may say they agree with them, but they wouldn't help them acquire the basic freedoms that other people take for granted.
Some visually impaired people don't have the confidence or the skills to leave home and transition to living independently on their own. Because of the lack of significant support available to them from other people, and their lack of confidence, they think staying at home would be easier.
Their parents take full advantage of their visual impairment to ensure that they live according to the values and wishes of their parents.
It is unhelpful to Katie, that her boyfriend isn't committed enough to her that he would remove her from that situation and give her the greatest gift of all... freedom!
this topic makes me sad.
Dl87, I know that it's not easy to stand up for yourself but you've just gotta go for it.